Old at Heart

I may appear to be the ripe old age of 17, and have the actual age of 37, but my heart doesn’t agree with either of those ideas and places me at a much more advanced…vintage.

I can’t wait for the day I’m in some retirement community, eating pudding and playing bingo. I’d be much more free to say things like “Land’s sakes!” and complain about how potato chip bags are shrinking and how when I was a kid, you could get a gallon of gas for under a dollar. I’d proudly eat dinner at 4:30 and go to bed at 8:00 so I could get up at 4:00 to start my day with a handful of pills and a swig of English Tea.

I was reminded of this when we needed some help with one of our cars. Our stereotypical family not-quite-an-SUV had a recalled part, and because we live in a small town, a trip to a dealership would have been pretty annoying. It turned out, though, that a nearby-ish town was able to come and pick up our car, replace the part, and return it as a free service to us.

So a couple of days ago, a man with silvery hair came to our door for the keys, and Kai proudly gave them to him. They shook hands, and when he found out I was a stay-at-home-mom, he acted like he was meeting Mother Teresa.

“Well, good for you. That’s just great. I tell you what, kids today, they just don’t get it. This is what we should be doing, raising kids this way,” etc., etc. I was surprised into accepting his compliment, basking in the glow of life as a SAHM. But the next time I wished I was watching Wheel of Fortune and The Weather Channel at the same time, I had to pause just a little bit because of what was behind this man’s comments.

senior lady taking picture on old camera

A General Attitude of Bitterness

I mean, I’m very thankful that I’m a SAHM, but I also don’t want to get too good at playing the part of an old soul and turn into an embittered person who thinks everything is going down the crapper because of those people.

I don’t want to be a grandmother who criticizes all the parents for raising young folks who just don’t get it. I don’t know exactly what he meant by that, but I agree in part, because young folks are not supposed to get everything yet. They are kids.

And stay-at-home-moms may be awesome, but I’m blown away by working moms too. And kids? Well, kids are clueless like they’ve always been. I hope my kids are just clueless enough to keep their innocence.

As for me, I hope I grow old gracefully.

I know I’m one of the oldest parents in my kids’ classes, especially because a lot of people have kids at a younger age in this area. I look younger than I am, but inside I’m ready for retirement. (And beyond!)

Sometimes I wonder if I’m really culminating the wisdom and kindness that I’d like to have at this age, among my peers who are younger than me at those ball games and plays and field trips.

Wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to the old.

Job 12:12

Will the other parents look to me for tips or wisdom? Will they expect me to guide them?

Okay, so my age doesn’t yet have these expectations, and I know that personality is what makes a leader. I’m a serious introvert who loves to help in the background, doing the dirty work while someone else shines in the spotlight. That’s how I like it. But I also hope that I’m on the right track to maturing the way I should be.

Wednesday is my 38th birthday. So here’s to growing another year older and gaining wisdom and having grace for other parents, kids, and my elders too. Here’s to a long life filled with good things and a youthful spirit…even though I have a touch of arthritis and use Efferdent every day (on my retainer, but still).

He fills my life with good things.
    My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

Psalm 103:5

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9 thoughts on “Old at Heart”

  1. Your comments about the chip bag made me laugh, that is so something my FIL always says!! He he! I need your attitude on growing older, it’s so great! 🙂

  2. Hi Laura. Growing old gracefully is a wonderful goal. I’m a “mature mom” of a teenage son and I appreciate your humorous and insightful reflections. Thanks for this great post!

  3. Love this post. May we find grace to gently and lovingly share our thoughts and opinions with others. We are all on this journey of life – learning & growing – spurring one another on. I’m with you, even though I am already “older” (how did that ever happen!!!). I want to grow old gracefully, with joy, not bitterness. I want others to desire my company because they see Jesus in me.

  4. You are hilarious. I AM an old person – I know, I know – I don’t look it except in person.. and I’ve been thinking serious thoughts for a funny person like: well, I better go to this today bec tomorrow I might die or break a hip. Not all bad thoughts, btw. Nor are yours . we are left here after salvation for a purpose. don’t want to waste that intention. I see you’re not. And 38 – well, I was still pregnant and then again at 43 almsot 44. So there was not much time for wondering about my purpose. Now, a little more – but as I prayed again this am, it’s the same as then: to come to Jesus and let that coming spill over to anyone around today. I loved your line: leadership is personality. They will ask you for discernment/advice/tips and as you continue to come to Jesus, you will be ready. Your old/new friend, s PS Invite them to coffee. I’ll bake.

  5. i’m with you, Laura, hoping to grow gracefully, thinking of some of those women who are some steps ahead of me who’ve modeled what it looks like to do so …

    appreciate these words today …

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