Embracing Life with Messy Kids (7 Tips for Stay at Home Moms!)

Life is Unpredictable with Messy Kids

Let me take you back to one winter when I was a pre-teen. We were on one of our long family road trips to southern Texas, this time with my cousin traveling along. He always sat in the very back of our minivan, where he could chatter about video games and reenact explosions properly in a whole row to himself.

Once, when he was done with his gum and didn’t have a trash bag in the back, my mom reached her hand out and told him she’d throw it away for him. I recoiled in horror at this idea. For some reason, I’ll never forget what my mom said in response to me:

“I’m a mom. I’ve had a lot worse things in my hand than chewed gum.”

-my mom

This was my first true glimpse of what life would one day become for me.

If you’ve followed my blog much at all, you already know that I can’t stop writing about messes. For those of you who’d like to understand why, let me offer this short explanation: I have a one-year-old and a four-year-old.

A longer explanation is that we’ve been through our share of spills, vomit in the car, poop on the floor, and crayon on the walls, to gloss over a few of our incidents. Truth be told, I know I can only expect more. Here’s how I’m embracing life and knowing the value of a stay at home mom in this messy house (with toddlers).

Tips for Stay At Home Moms Coping with Messy Kids

1. Be Willing to Laugh at the Sight of A Messy House

Laughter may come easily to me, but NOT always. Sometimes, in the moment, I either want to explode, cry, or hide. Can I get an amen?

So here’s a reminder to myself and moms who love a clean space: laugh at the days to come. Laugh at the messes that will be made, so when they happen you’ll already have a sense of humor about it.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

Proverbs 31:25, NIV

I know this isn’t easy. But I feel that God wants to give us the gift of perspective when it comes to our housekeeping. First of all, God sees your efforts and values it! (Eph. 6:7-8) Secondly, just remember this simple phrase: WE LIVE HERE. Life is done in your home, all day, every day, and messes mean that growth, learning, and fun is happening.

I know that I often need reminders that better to sit at the feet of Jesus than slave away at housekeeping.

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:42, NIV

Housekeeping is incredibly challenging and stressful in the face of a messy house with toddlers. God understands that, moms! So remember to choose to focus on the few things that are truly needed.

And then remember that these moments will make for great stories in the future and are especially useful for sharing with your child’s future prom dates.

2. Kids Room Organization, the Realistic Way

Whether you have the space for a play room or more of a play nook, create a functional space for messy kids to be kids. We have two large kids’ bedrooms, but no play room, and a lot of times both my kiddos play in the living room because it’s just more convenient. We’ve learned to expect the mess, and to have some set pick up times so that before dinner, things aren’t too crazy.

If you’re organizing your kids’ rooms, KUDOS to you, mama! I’ve found that cubby storage cabinets with pretty cube boxes for kids are invaluable for storing smaller toys. We have a bin for play food, one for farm toys, and one for Little People toys.

kids room organization bins | How to manage stay-at-home mom life amidst the mess

Creating zones does wonders when tackling kids room organization. For example, make an area for

  • playing house and cooking
  • playing with vehicles
  • building with Legos
  • reading and cuddle time
  • all the stuffed animals (this bin is perfect!)

*I could do a post on organizing Legos alone, but here’s a summary: We have LOVED using a small coffee table for Lego time, and we swear by these hardware cabinet bins for storing and sorting Legos.

Having places to tuck toys away and rotate them out is invaluable! If you haven’t given it a try, please do it now and thank me later. 😉

3. Let Them Try Messy Outdoor Activities

My mom used to set us free in the backyard to meet up with neighborhood friends and make mud pies–it was one of our favorite outdoor activities! There are so many good reasons to let your kids make messes. I tend to cringe at some messes, especially from things like sand boxes (the sand gets EVERYWHERE!), but I’m working on letting it go.

Moms who love a clean home, I feel your pain. Mom life means sharing our home with our wonderful but messy kids. Here are my top 7 tips for staying sane in a messy house. #messykids #happymoms

After all, it’s better that the kids get messy outside than in the house. There are almost three seasons of the year when it’s easy enough to get them in nature or at least in the back yard, and encourage a few messes…so let them loose!

Here are some quick ideas for messy outdoor activities

  • water play: squirt guns, wading pools, water tables, play sprinklers
  • sidewalk chalk of all kinds (glow in the dark! glitter! the list goes on)
  • painting, tie dye, shaving cream sculptures
  • blowing bubbles, bubble machines, bubble gloves, giant bubble wands
  • digging in dirt, sand, corn, and more
  • seasonal play: jumping in puddles, fall leaves, and snow

4. Do Necessary Messy Activities Outside When Possible

I’ll keep this simple. Any time the weather allows, try a few of these in your yard!

  • haircuts
  • nail trims
  • eating

Moms who love a clean home, I feel your pain. Mom life means sharing our home with our wonderful but messy kids. Here are my top 7 tips for staying sane in a messy house. #messykids #happymoms

5. Be Authentic

Life with kids can get messy in more ways than one, so be real with yourself, your kids, and the world that you’re imperfect. If you handle your own mistakes and messes with humility and ownership, your kids will learn to do the same.

It takes some bravery, but share more than your highlight reel with your family or friends. The more authentic you are, the more easily you’ll accept your kids in all their sticky-coated loveliness. Kids don’t want or need you to be perfect, they just need you in all your YOUness.

6. Value Your Kids’ Special Sauce

It would have been hard for me to believe this before I became a mom, but sometimes life with kids becomes ordinary. I hate the thought of taking my family for granted. I want to make sure my kids know how much I appreciate them.

Go beyond saying “I love you” to sharing what you love about them. Look for moments that highlight their sense of humor, their artistic flair, their empathy, their creativity, or whatever it is that makes them quirky and unique.

life with messy kids: tips for stay at home moms

Each child adds an essential ingredient to your family, and I’m sure you have those qualities in mind right now. Write it down, get it on camera, share it with your friends, but most of all, share it with them. When you appreciate them and tell them so, you’ll build bonds that no stained white furniture can put asunder.

7. Have Grace for Yourself + Your Messy Kids

When your kids mess up, or when life hands you something worse than chewed up gum, don’t be hard on yourself. It’s so easy to think that we’re “in charge” of our kids, and that we’ve messed up too when they make a mistake. We may shape our kids, but God is their ultimate parent, and our kiddos have a will of their own.

When you fail or your kids fail and life gets messy, make sure there is a confession, forgiveness, and then wipe the slate clean. Move right along and remember that you are only human, and so are your kids. There will be other chances to get it right.

a hug with my son

My mom is a wise woman. Now that I’m a mom too, her statement makes perfect sense. So whether you were expecting life to be this messy, I’m giving you and me full permission to relax, laugh, and embrace the mess…especially the messy kids!

Moms who love a clean home, I feel your pain. Mom life means sharing our home with our wonderful but messy kids. Here are my top 7 tips for staying sane in a messy house. #messykids #happymoms

If you liked this post, sign up for my free ebook about the (totally human) moms of the Bible.

Moms who love a clean home, I feel your pain. Mom life means sharing our home with our wonderful but messy kids. Here are my top 7 tips for staying sane in a messy house. #messykids #happymoms

26 thoughts on “Embracing Life with Messy Kids (7 Tips for Stay at Home Moms!)”

  1. Where has this place been all my life? Love this message. I was just sitting outside with my coffee this morning penning words to a post that beats this rhythm. Because too many rules & striving for perfection wear me out. Sharing today!

  2. Baby messes prepares us for the worse ones ahead! as a mom of semi-adult children, I have to laugh (a lot) and pray even more as I’m no longer able to say much about anything unless asked! hard on me since I have the spiritual gift of telling you what to do.
    PS you’re a great mom!

  3. What a great post Laura.
    I love the “let them get messy outside”. I like my house fairly tidy but when it comes to the outdoors my kids know it’s showtime so to speak. They get pretty grubby and I have learned to relax and greet them at the door to collect shoes and muddies clothes. I dream of a house with a stellar mud/laundry room at the side entrance 🙂

  4. I adore messy outside. Lots of grace. And say ‘no thanks’ to any kind of 1-2-3 formulas in parenting … or any other area of life.

    And I’m glad to have met you today, Laura!


  5. Hey there Laura! I love what you say about valuing your kids’ special sauce. I only have two, but they are each so unique and different from the other. It’s a joy when you focus on their strengths instead of berating them for their weaknesses. 🙂

  6. Yes, as a mom, we really have to learn to adjust to messes. 🙂 By nature, I don’t like messes, but by motherhood, I grew to tolerate them. Now that my kids are grown, I can keep my house clean again, but when it gets messy because humans live and love here, that’s fine by me too!

  7. I love this — and truly, in my twenties, the messiness of motherhood was what made me say that I was not “cut out” for it.
    Obviously, it is a learned behavior — and I’m very thankful!

  8. Laura, I don’t know if you fully realise the wisdom in your words. (smile) ‘I’ve found that making your home kid-friendly mostly includes an attitude of acceptance and expectations for messes’. My kids are older, but much of the advice you offer here is just as relevant, not just for tangible physical messes but other ‘real messes’. ‘Be authentic, value your kids’ special sauce, have grace for yourself and your kids and avoid parenting formulas… yep those are right on the ball through all the stages of leaning into God as we embrace the messiness of mom life. Thanks for the inspiration.

  9. This is perfect! I have to actively and continually work in letting the messes go. It’s a real effort but every time I successfully choose to laugh as opposed to exploding or crying, it’s always worth it. It gets cleaned up eventually. It doesn’t have to be perfect 100% of the time!

  10. Love, love, love this!! As you read on my blog today, I tend to laugh otherwise I will cry at times LOL! I also love the advice of telling your kids how much you appreciate them or what you love about them, that is so important and tends to be easily forgotten to do. I am making a mental note to get better about that 🙂

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *