Embarrassing Moments

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There have been a few too many of these in my life. Way too many. For the first half of my life, I could have been described as a hybrid of Judy Grimes and Jessica Day.

Imagine it with me, if you will.

I’m not exactly sure this “awkward phase” will ever truly be over for me. At least I have the internet.

So thanks to Momfessionals, I’m sharing a couple of my most embarrassing moments with you. My one consolation is that I get to read all of yours. We’re in this together, right?

My First Real Date

It was basically my first serious date ever, a week into my freshman year at college. I was majoring in vocal performance at the time, and my date, let’s call him…Rusty…was a really talented musician. (Aren’t they all?)

So after dinner, as we walked together on sunset-streaked hilly campus, the topic of music came up. Rusty peered into the rosy clouds as he filled me in on his favorite bands.

His list ended something like this: “…Tom Petty, Pink Floyd, and I like U2.”

Here is what I heard: “…Tom Petty, Pink Floyd, and I like you, too.”

Maybe if we’d been sitting in a stuffy car actually listening to the band U2, I’d had taken him at the surface of things and understood. As it was, I blame the gratuitous sunset that made Rusty’s entire face and long blond curls glow as though he’d seen the face of God.

I truly thought that he was just that smooth, surprising me with a compliment when he’d been talking about something different altogether. (That should have been MY FIRST CLUE.)

So this is how I responded. “Oh, um…thanks. I like you too.”

When he realized what I’d heard, Rusty corrected me and explained that he meant the band. But then he tried to save me some embarrassment and told me that he did, in fact, like me.

No embarrassment was saved.

My First Real Job

My senior year of college, I was fortunate enough to score a great job as a clerk in the Neonatology unit of the University hospital. I could hardly believe they let me in, but I was determined to make a great first impression. My manager had been showing me around throughout my first week, and on my second day, she came by with someone dressed in an official looking white coat.

My manager said, “This is Winston Maximus Smithsonian III, the head of our department.” (Okay, I may have changed his name.)

“Hi, I’m Laura,” I said. So far, so good.

My manager told him a little bit about me, and that I’d just started, so Mr. Smithsonian III, MD, said, “Well, it’s great to meet you. Welcome to the team!”

And I enthusiastically blurted, “THANK.”

I did not say, “thank you,” and I did not say, “thanks,” but instead chose to invent my own conglomerated response just for the occasion. Apparently I didn’t feel as though thanks would be formal enough, but I was committed, and the you just didn’t follow.

We all turned away in shame and confusion.

The End

These moments are really just the tip of the iceberg. So that’s my challenge to you…what are some of your most epic moments of embarrassment? Have you, too, ever sputtered out sentence fragments (and lit things on fire)? If so, let’s be friends.